Open wide, New York State
Congratulations and commiserations to the people of New York State, who now have this gibbering 70’s throwback as their common-law First Lady. At least the political news has a shot at being mildly amusing, in, say, the way laughing at a 39-year-old with a Scooby Doo birthday theme is mildly amusing.
Let’s check out one of the lady’s recipes, shall we? What about her infamous Kwanzaa Cake?
1 (10 to 12-ounce) purchased angel food cake
1 container (16 ounce) vanilla frosting
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 (21-ounce) container apple filling or topping
1 (1.7-ounce) package corn nuts
1/2 cup pumpkin seeds, toasted
1/2 cup popped popcornSpecial Equipment:
Kwanzaa candlesUsing a serrated knife, cut cake horizontally into 2 layers. Place bottom cake layer, cut side up, on a serving platter. Mix frosting, cocoa powder, vanilla, and cinnamon in large bowl until combined. Spread about 1/4 of the frosting over top of cake layer on platter. Top with second cake layer, cut side down. Spread remaining frosting evenly over top and sides of cake to coat completely. Spoon apple pie filling into hole in center of cake. Place candles atop cake. Sprinkle top of cake with some corn nuts, pumpkin seeds, and popcorn. Sprinkle remaining corn nuts and pumpkin seeds around base of cake.
And then, presumably, set it on fire and give heartfelt Kwanzaa thanks for the fact that nobody could expect you to put that in your mouth.
Oh God Oh God Oh God. She’s here, she’s smiling, and she’s popping!
Luckily for us in New York City, Albany is far, far away.
How can she possibly maintain that figure of hers on a diet of canned dreck and cheap vodka?
Comment by Mr. Henry — November 3, 2010 @ 8:44 am
wow that cake looks awesome…guess I need to start celebrating Kwanzaa!
Comment by Macarons — November 3, 2010 @ 1:34 pm
Sounds like somebody could use a COCKtail!
Comment by raincoaster — November 4, 2010 @ 12:19 am
The twee Martha Stewart, (but only if Martha has no brains).
Comment by aurumgirl — November 8, 2010 @ 11:38 am
Or taste. At least Martha’s a proper snob!
Comment by raincoaster — November 9, 2010 @ 1:19 am
She’s a hot blonde who made a success out of her family’s failures but damn, girl … Kwanza is so totally anti-everything Americans hold dear you should be ashamed of yourself for toadying to whatever crowd of whackos you’re toadying to.
This is so very very embarrassing. For her.
Comment by Michael — November 10, 2010 @ 6:40 pm
Michael, after all this time I get the feeling that she has long since transcended the capability for shame.
Comment by raincoaster — November 10, 2010 @ 7:02 pm
I think the “emetic” tag is the best part of this. No one should stumble on Sandra Lee without warning.
Having said that, her Christmas party episode featuring the cocktail tree is one of the most surreal cooking show episodes ever. It’s not Christmas without seeing it — like the Grinch.
Comment by Fabrisse — November 11, 2010 @ 11:59 am
I just found that the Holiday Cocktail party will show on Dec 17 at 2pm! It’s a must!
Comment by Fabrisse — November 11, 2010 @ 12:30 pm
Yes, the cocktail tree is on YouTube, which is where I got my first exposure to her. Thank god they won’t let you upload more than ten minutes at a time. Viewing more than ten consecutive minutes of this dizzy “blend a can of Grade A fruit cocktail with some cheap vodka” Barbie could lead to hallucinations, like the concept that her recipes are a good idea rather than low comedy.
Comment by raincoaster — November 11, 2010 @ 6:52 pm