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September 21, 2008

Honey Do

Filed under: Honey — Mr. Henry @ 3:02 pm

“Honey! I’m home!”

Is there anything in the house more soothing, more satisfying, more sustaining to body and soul than honey?

Honey is magical – a viscous, sweet essence with a thousand year shelf life and a thousand uses, including topical anti-bacterial application.

Ancient Egyptian doctors used honey to treat skin disorders. Medical doctors today have discovered that honey applied topically can defeat drug resistant strains of bacteria MRSA. In contact with bodily tissues honey forms a thin layer of hydrogen peroxide.


An aficionado of the offbeat medical fact, Mr. Henry has been repeating this one to friends and acquaintances for days – one more reason his broad popularity is unassailable.

In conjunction with honey’s low oxygen content, the peroxide slowly but effectively combats infection. Might this be a reason why hot water, lemon and honey – the traditional home remedy for a sore throat – genuinely works?

When preparing a vinaigrette, Mr. Henry likes to add a smidgeon of honey permitting him to employ more acidic elements like red wine vinegar or lemon juice.

A touch of honey works wonders in a conch ceviche, too, as Honey Ryder might have known.

Honey’s astringent sweetness modulates sourness as well as saltiness.

All in all a bit of honey helps awaken the taste buds and balance the vinaigrette’s other flavors. The same holds true for marinades.

In the morning nothing placates the annoyance of having to abandon one’s bed (oh bed! greatest invention of mankind!) like a bowl of plain yogurt with a tablespoon of White Gold, a pure untreated Canadian honey that has been the Henry household favorite for years.

Not everyone sees honey as the essence of purity, however. Unbeknownst to Mr. Henry until he read this article in Slate, among the vegan community a bitter fight rages over whether or not eating honey is cruel and exploitative to bees.

When angry vegans square off to really duke it out, Mr. Henry wonders about their choice of weapons. Cream puffs are definitely out. (No dairy permitted.) Likewise for leather batons. Things could get ugly in a hurry.


It’s too bad they can’t use honey on the abrasions.



  1. This is not what I thought it would be from the title of the blog. Honey do is a list of odd jobs for a husband to do. Then you post that title with a picture of Jack Nicholson from The Shining, the crazy “here’s Johnny” picture, I expected with that something more about husbands around the house.

    Comment by Tinker 12 — September 21, 2008 @ 7:09 pm

  2. Oh, the pitfalls of wordplay!

    Comment by Glinda — September 25, 2008 @ 6:32 pm

  3. Please, let’s not talk about punishing vegans. Don’t they suffer enough already?

    Comment by raincoaster — September 27, 2008 @ 3:19 pm

  4. you’ve pinpointed it, raincoaster, there is a masochistic aspect to their philosophy… s & m really, because they want to torture us too…
    pleather whips anyone?

    excellent diatribe btw, Mr. Henry….

    Comment by klee — September 27, 2008 @ 6:52 pm

  5. Gargling with a water-and-hydrogen peroxide mix has also long been a treatment for sore throats and mouth sores.

    I’d like to point out that medical doctors are finally figuring out that many “old wives’ tales” came from old wives who lived long enough to figure out what they were doing.

    Comment by La BellaDonna — November 11, 2008 @ 9:25 am

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