Stop the Presses: NIGELLA IS FREE!!!1!

Nigella wins her freedom AND Breast Supporting Dress

Nigella wins her freedom AND Breast Supporting Dress

Gentlemen, start your saucepans: Nigella Lawson and her complete enema of a billionaire are getting a Dee-Vorse! Here’s his whole snively, double-talking, non-apology statement. Nigella is too busy fielding calls from Prince Hot Ginge and George Clooney to be bothered issuing a statement.

Charles Saatchi statement

The next time this guy goes in for a heart transplant, let’s try to make sure he gets one, okay?

And I’m giving this the Food Porn tag because a) I know some degenerate out there is going to fap to it and b) well, two more reasons, scroll up.

4 Responses to “Stop the Presses: NIGELLA IS FREE!!!1!”

  1. Scott July 7, 2013 at 12:20 am #

    So, do I just give leave my phone number here and you’ll get it to her or…?

  2. SarahHeartburn July 7, 2013 at 12:41 am #

    Honest to god, Raincoaster, tell me you yourself wrote the above. He didn’t, did he? Is he really that…..

    of course he is.

  3. BusyBee July 7, 2013 at 7:37 am #

    Hooray for her!!!

  4. fotoeins | Henry July 7, 2013 at 3:24 pm #

    Where do I sign up …

    No more hightailing to the Food Network, but without Paula Deen, there’ll be no more snipefests with Tony Bourdain. Guess I’ll resign myself to watching repeats of her looking AWESOME on “The Taste” …

    By the way, Saatchi? Ya sure ain’t Satchmo, that’s for sure.