It’s hard to know who to blame for the culinary abominations produced by Sandra Lee: the host herself? her pharmacist? Absolut? or (god help us) Popov? But new evidence has surfaced that clearly indicates where the infamous Lee found her inspiration: drag queens.
Watch this video and see if you can detect any difference between a Sandra Lee semi-homemade concoction and this one.
Another in our ongoing series of really, really practical wine measurements.
Bubble tea is one of those culinary miracles like unicorn foam that you’d swear required the technology of NASA to create and couldn’t be made at home, but astonishingly this is false (provided you can find tapioca pearls, and if you’re the kind of person who drinks bubble tea without pearls I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW YOU). It is permissible to make it with booze, and if I can prevail upon a chef pal we shall have a recipe forthcoming. There’s a recipe for matcha bubble tea here.
And we’ve also locally-sourced a quiz which tells you which kind of bubble tea you are. I prefer mango, myself, but if almond I must be, so be it.
You Are Almond Bubble Tea
You are an ideas person, and you are always thinking of new ways to change the world.
Your taste is somewhat unconventional, although you don’t like anything too far out.You have a reputation for being quirky, and at times, you make sure to fuel it.
You’re definitely adverse to following the crowd. You want to do things your way!
If you are, as yet, unaware of what bubble tea is, it’s basically a fruit-flavoured, ultra-fine milkshake with tapioca pearls added after blending (jujube-like bubbles you need a pinkie-thick straw to slurp up) and it’s a cup full of fun. How many Dr Who references can you get out of a quotidian beverage, after all?
Serve in a tall, clear novelty glass so people can see, and play with, the pearls. Here are some suggestions, also good for any tall, iced drink, particularly those like the tequila sunrise (no hate!) that have interesting colour/ingredient gradients. You can also use these for plain old highballs, but you will risk accusations of frivolity. Then again, vodka soda drinkers deserve all the scorn they get if you axe me.
Fun and retro. The colour WILL get in the way of certain fruit bubble teas, but for others it’ll be an enhancement.
My favorite. Just crazy enough.
Fun optical games to be played here with this many faceted surfaces.
Very old-school. Maximum irony points for serving bubble tea, or boozy bubble tea, therein.
Clean, clear, lets the beauty of the drink shine through.
Thermal double-walled glass is maybe better for drinks made with crushed ice, but still shows off a good-looking beverage without letting it get tepid.
More retro, tiki fun.
We luv us some texture in a good quality glass, and this has all that plus a pleasingly hedonistic shape.
Because who wants to go through the day totally straight? I ask yez.
I spent several months in the wine country recently, and as per standard procedure I visited my Therapist. That is: Therapy Wines. They’ve got a stunning line in smart, punning titles: Freudian Sip, Pink Freud, Freud’s Ego, SuperEgo, you get the picture. And the taste… well, listen to this thing a very wise man (Steve Latchford, the winemaker at Therapy, in fact) told me.
When you’re drinking a new wine, rate it thusly: would you buy
- a glass of it?
- a bottle of it?
- a case of it?
Simple. Nuanced. Easy to remember. This is my new favourite rating system for anything that is good enough that it makes it past the “oh, no, I’m on antibiotics” little white lie.
Surrealism and cuisine go back a long way, with greater or lesser results in terms of success. This is one of the all-time highs.
Another high point was the publication of The Surreal Gourmet: Real Food for Pretend Chefs, which introduced the world to the concept of dishwasher salmon. Keeping it surreal, yo.