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September 1, 2011

Hurricane Irene and the Waffle House

Filed under: Uncategorized — Erik Nabler @ 11:32 pm

Okay, I must admit that I live on the West Coast.  That being said, I might enjoy 45 seconds on the nightly news about how much the East Coast sucks.  Then an additional 45 seconds on these “hurricane” things that they make so big a deal about.  Then, move on to important stuff like how nice the weather is today in California.

Instead, I get 20 or 30 minutes of NPR and CNN and Whoever talking about the damn rain and wind and how you should have heeded Obama and taken the subway to safety (although the subway was shut down for safety, but hey, whaddayougonnado?).

However, I finally got something that speaks to me, personally, about the dangers of hurricanes.  And that is:


This is the most clear and concise measure of how dangerous conditions are that I have ever seen.  Threat Level Chartreuse?  Code Red?  Defcon 3?  Who the hell knows what any of those mean?  But

“Waffle House Green means the restaurant is serving a full menu, a signal that damage in an area is limited and the lights are on. Yellow means a limited menu, indicating power from a generator, at best, and low food supplies. Red means the restaurant is closed, a sign of severe damage in the area or unsafe conditions.”

Those are clear measures of danger.  I mean, I have been to Waffle Houses in the most severe of personal conditions.  But I have always held the faith that the Waffle House would be there when I needed it.  (And a vomit cleaning crew who, sadly, I was too messed up to leave a tip for).  So, if there is “Waffle House Code Red” that is a clear indication that I need to take things seriously and immediately finish that storm cellar that I kept meaning to build.

So, the next time there are warnings of impending doom, ask for-nay demand-that they refer to the “Waffle House Scale” so you have a reality based idea of how much crap you are in for.







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