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Sooo… Master Chef. Anybody out there watch the US version? I have to admit I haven’t. I haven’t seen the UK version, either. Just one of those things I haven’t gotten around to doing.

Still, a lot of people did tune in on monday night to hear Gordon Ramsay unleash his typical tirades of vitriol at unwitting contestants like this:

Ah yes, I can hear it now:

You stupid @#$@%ing @#%@er, get the @$&^&% out of my &(^$#* kitchen! *%%%^ me!

What? I’ve seen enough episodes of Kitchen Nightmares to have sussed out his entire vocabulary, and about 85% of it is in that one sentence. Maybe that’s why I don’t try Master Chef. No matter how talented the guy is, or how much he knows, he spends so much time screaming at people that they’re idiots, quickly followed by whines of “I’m just being ^$*%E$ing honest with you” when anyone gets up enough backbone to object to being treated so @$@^%ily, that I can’t really stand him.

Hence my not watching Master Chef. And hence my missing what one eagle-eyed viewer has brought to the attention of the media world:

I know it’s difficult to see at this size, but if you look carefully, you’ll see circles drawn over the picture, two each in red, yellow, and blue. The matching circles (well, and ovals, because a couple of them are more that shape) represent places where the film editing wizards have doubled the images of contestants to make the crowd look bigger than it actually was.

Seriously? You guys needed to do that?

No, I don’t hold Gordon personally responsible for this. I doubt he broke into the editing suite in the middle of the night to confuse and mislead America as to the popularity of his new-to-the-USA show. And it really doesn’t strike me as terribly important in the grand scheme of things. Certainly it’s no comparison to starving children or e coli breakouts.

So what is it? A reminder that even reality television isn’t very real. An amusing bit of trivia. Maybe even a way to fill space on a few blogs across the web.

Who knows? Maybe Gordon Ramsay’s television persona isn’t who he really is, either. Maybe there’s a kinder, gentler Gordon who knows how to moderate his tone and treat people with civility. Perhaps in real life – as opposed to reality shows – he’s as gentle as that lamb draped around his neck:

… but I wouldn’t count on it.

A Colorado artist made Ms. Ray’s face out of Cheetos!

This image speaks for itself. What can I add?

Saturday’s New York Times article on Food Network star, Sandra Lee’s relationship with New York gubernatorial front runner, Andrew M. Cuomo has me thinking about what Albany might look like with Ms. Lee as First Lady of the Empire State.

Lee’s show Semi-Homemade Cooking is built on her 70/30 combination of 70% ready-made foodstuffs (such as season packets or rotisserie chicken)and 30% personal touches. The recipes are often incredibly composed aesthetically – a red, white, and blue trifle or rainbow chicken rolls. Meals are themed – a Bachelor Barbecue, Crossword Puzzle (apparently, brunch on a budget), and something called “Wisteria Land.” A rather high strung woman, Ms. Lee is always in need of a cocktail, and so each episode features a signature drink (often pink and frothy.)

But what has always made me a fan of Ms. Lee are what she calls “tablescapes“, heavily curated table settings, created around the central theme of the meal being served. Recent tablescapes included “Happy Harley Day”

And “Holiday Spirits”

Since the Times article ran, I’ve been thinking about themed tablescapes Ms. Lee might create in the New York State Executive Mansion if Cuomo is elected. Of course, his victory party would be a doozy, but once in office the possibilities would be endless.

Perhaps if teacher lay-offs continue in New York City, a reading, writing, and arithmetic theme in which words are misspelled and sums incorrect?

Since Albany is known for its intense in-fighting, a choreographed food fight might be in order – the meal would of course be constructed of a rainbow palate of foods so that the resulting mess would be artful. I’m thinking blueberries, beets, and maybe some wasabi paste.

If, God forbid, there were the sort of infidelity scandal that has been rocking the New York governor’s seat of late, I have no doubt that Ms. Lee would rise to the occasion, creating a well-appointed black table setting, befitting the severity of the situation, all the while maintaining her dignity. And of course, she would make a signature cocktail for the occasion — strong, but very, very pretty.