Crystal Head vodka, Dan Ackroyd’s side venture, is packaged in a, yes, crystal skull, meant to reference the mysterious crystal skulls of Mesoamerica. Now a very bored forensic sculptor has taken one of the decanters and reconstructed the face of the human behind it. Sure. Why not? It’s vodka; you’re supposed to go a little crazy, right?
The company says, “Forensic artist Nigel from Scotland shared these incredible images with us. Check it out how he’s using his empty CHV bottles!”
That dude is wasted. So would you be, if you had a head full of vodka. We can all drink to that, in these sassy Doom Crystal Skull Head Vodka Shot Glasses.
But wait, I think I recognize him!]]>
Well, this is relatively insane.
First of all, dude definitely does not need more caffeine in his life. Secondly, Folgers coffee plus foam does not equal a latte. It equals … well, it is to a latte as the winner of the Seniors division of the Midwestern Exotic Dancing Championships is to Kate Upton. Thirdly, this wouldn’t be a latte even if it were made with espresso; it would be a cappuccino. But he does do one thing right here: he gives it to the caffeine-deprived woman. That is ALWAYS the right choice.
If you absolutely must have this gadget, I beg of you: Use decent coffee. But here you go. The Mr. Coffee BVMC-EL1 Cafe Latte is less than $50 at Amazon.
According to the blog from which I stole this, the woman who submitted the recipe makes it for her husband Dick. Yes, really. Once again, proof that the housewives of the 50’s and 60’s had a lot of repressed issues, Freudian or not.]]>
Sometimes people ask me how I turned out this way. The Hilarious House of Frightenstein is a large part of the answer. This deranged Goth fantasy was what passed for educational children’s programming in Canada back in the 70’s, and it was unspeakably brilliant. All of my mental warpage I owe to it. You haven’t seen camp until you’ve seen Billy Van dressed as a hag who thinks she’s Goldie Hawn, hosting a cooking show.
You will see that now.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the very definition of CANNOT BE UNSEEN. And is it just me, or do the mannerisms recall an otherworldly Rachael Ray? To say nothing of the recipes.]]>
This awesome photoset comes to you via Tumblr (so if it goes bye-bye blame them) and it features the work of Alan Sailer, a California photog who has the radical specialization of “exploding food.”]]>
Another high point was the publication of The Surreal Gourmet: Real Food for Pretend Chefs, which introduced the world to the concept of dishwasher salmon. Keeping it surreal, yo.
So the next time you’re out of fire starter fluid or those bizarre waxy cubes (what is IN those anyway, dinosaur blubber?), throw a few Cheerios on the briquets and stand clear! Servicey! Thanks, Mister Homophobe Guy!]]>
Winner, winner, Mexican dinner!]]>