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The Face of Crystal Head Vodka

Well, this is legitimately insane.

Crystal Head vodka, Dan Ackroyd’s side venture, is packaged in a, yes, crystal skull, meant to reference the mysterious crystal skulls of Mesoamerica. Now a very bored forensic sculptor has taken one of the decanters and reconstructed the face of the human behind it. Sure. Why not? It’s vodka; you’re supposed to go a little crazy, right?

The company says, “Forensic artist Nigel from Scotland shared these incredible images with us. Check it out how he’s using his empty CHV bottles!”

Crystal Skull 1

Crystal Skull 1

Crystal Skull 2 Crystal Skull 3 Crystal Skull 4

Crystal Skull 5

Crystal Skull 5

Crystal Skull 6

That dude is wasted. So would you be, if you had a head full of vodka. We can all drink to that, in these sassy Doom Crystal Skull Head Vodka Shot Glasses.

But wait, I think I recognize him!

From the Department of Someone Should Switch to Decaf…

Coffee Crazy

Coffee Crazy

Well, this is relatively insane.

First of all, dude definitely does not need more caffeine in his life. Secondly, Folgers coffee plus foam does not equal a latte. It equals … well, it is to a latte as the winner of the Seniors division of the Midwestern Exotic Dancing Championships is to Kate Upton. Thirdly, this wouldn’t be a latte even if it were made with espresso; it would be a cappuccino. But he does do one thing right here: he gives it to the caffeine-deprived woman. That is ALWAYS the right choice.

If you absolutely must have this gadget, I beg of you: Use decent coffee. But here you go. The Mr. Coffee BVMC-EL1 Cafe Latte is less than $50 at Amazon.

Happy Thanksgiving, Yankistan!

From me up in Canuckistan and Gary Oldman back in Blighty, I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with love, happiness, family, friends, pumpkin pie, turkey, stuffing, and definitely none of that sweet potato pie/casserole crap, which is just what Southerners have instead of decent carbohydrates.

Great Moments in Cinema: Vincent Price vs Peter Lorre

Peter Lorre was in so many great films that I sometimes forget he did a lot of B work too. This is some of his most fun, playing a No Fucks Left to Give drunkard against Vincent Price as a prissy, ostentatious wine snob in a Roger Corman’s Tales of Terror. I don’t know about the wine, but the performances are delicious.

Cheers!

Here’s a tip!

Candle Salad

Candle Salad

According to the blog from which I stole this, the woman who submitted the recipe makes it for her husband Dick. Yes, really. Once again, proof that the housewives of the 50′s and 60′s had a lot of repressed issues, Freudian or not.

Great Canadian Cookery with Grizelda the Ghastly Gourmet

Grizelda the Ghastly Gourmet

Grizelda the Ghastly Gourmet


It’s time for a little Hamiltonian Halloween spice for the season.

Sometimes people ask me how I turned out this way. The Hilarious House of Frightenstein is a large part of the answer. This deranged Goth fantasy was what passed for educational children’s programming in Canada back in the 70′s, and it was unspeakably brilliant. All of my mental warpage I owe to it. You haven’t seen camp until you’ve seen Billy Van dressed as a hag who thinks she’s Goldie Hawn, hosting a cooking show.

You will see that now.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the very definition of CANNOT BE UNSEEN. And is it just me, or do the mannerisms recall an otherworldly Rachael Ray? To say nothing of the recipes.

Sunday Food Porn: Blow Up

This awesome photoset comes to you via Tumblr (so if it goes bye-bye blame them) and it features the work of Alan Sailer, a California photog who has the radical specialization of “exploding food.”

Dinner with Dali

Surrealism and cuisine go back a long way, with greater or lesser results in terms of success. This is one of the all-time highs.

Another high point was the publication of The Surreal Gourmet: Real Food for Pretend Chefs, which introduced the world to the concept of dishwasher salmon. Keeping it surreal, yo.

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