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Spirit Animal

This man is my hero (with a few caveats).

According to the guy who twitpic’d him, this blithe cheese fiend was digging into the wheel of Brie with his fingers and then putting it on crackers. Okay, gross. Dude clearly needs to upgrade to crackers with decent cutting ability; you use the cracker edge like a knife to cut off a piece of cheese and then, coincidentally, the cheese is on the cracker already! How convenient is that? From long experience, I would recommend your quotidian saltines, or a Wasa crispbread, perhaps the rye; although it is not sharp, it has a tensile strength that is truly gasp-inducing. When the apocalypse comes, you’ll be able to build fallout shelters from this stuff. Carr’s are, although lovely, easily shattered by the cheese-cutting operation, and are to be steered clear of in subway picnicking situations.

Also, Miss Manners will certainly back me up on this: stinky cheese should not be shared in enclosed spaces without the consent of those enclosed in the spaces. Also, if your Brie is stinky there’s something wrong with it, so this probably wasn’t Brie but something in the family. God knows I loves me some Chaumes, but the fumes will dissolve window glass. If in fact it was Brie, then he’s probably paying the karmic price for stinking up the subway car, spending the weekend on the bathroom floor, groaning.

To get your transit picnic right, remember these key things: No stinky cheeses! Or you’ll get mocked all over the blogosphere! And either a knife (really, who does not carry cutlery with them at all times? It is for such emergencies the Swiss Army gadget was invented! Get the one with the corkscrew, of course) or crackers of sufficient strength to both cleave and provide a satisfying textural contrast with the creamy cheese. Bonus points: an actual cloth napkin, because you’ll never get the grease stains out of your $300 leather satchel.

OccupyVeggies!

carrots are the 99 %

carrots are the 99 %

For those of you who, like me, find the entire Occupy Movement to be really well-intentioned, justified, and (indeed) not a moment too soon, but also somewhat dry (The General Assembly is the Filboid Studge of participatory democracy) we have some good news! Occupy Wall Street’s Liberty Plaza General Assembly has taken a lesson from the mainstream media and spiced up its hard news Committee Reports section (is that Spokes? Or Tranches? Who can keepWall Street terminology straight anyway?) with some food-and-spirituality-related entertainment.

Behold:


Christine: let’s start. The name of your WG. Winter w Safer Spaces & spirit vegetable is edamame. #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA


Roll call continued! Next, Pablo from OWS en Español! Their spirit vegetable is plantains. #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA


Julian w Outreach, spirit vegetable is cauliflower. #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA


Evelyn, w/ Human Rights working group – hasn’t decided on her spirit vegetable yet! #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA


Sean w Fire Safety, he’s sad b/c he has no spirit vegetable, someone recommends chili pepper. #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA


Info WG: Spirit vegetable is okra. #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA


Devin is spoking for Tech Ops working group tonight, and their spirit veggie is the artichoke! #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA


Ravi, w/ Organization – her spirit vegetable is carrots. #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA


Ben from Direct Action, their spirit vegetable is squash b/c they are going to squash capitalism #nycsc #ows
@LibertySqGA
LibertySq GA

(more…)

Faux Sho’, Pho That!

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We’re big fans of the Pronunciation Book videos chez Manolofood, but the visuals are distinctly lacking.

This video, which is basically a YouTube commercial for a New York Pho place, has great visuals and some snappy wordplay. Just what the doctor ordered (and then presumably added bean sprouts and lime to).

From the An Choi Pho Society of New York. My own favorite in Vangroover is Hanoi Pho, and not just because they let me run a tab!

Wine Not?

This pose takes years of practice. For your liver.

This pose takes years of practice. For your liver.

Say what you will about the French in wartime, they have the BEST helicopters. In related news, CnH2n+1OH Yoga is how I’m working off all the cheese and alcohol I’ve been consuming since getting my liver refreshed.

In tangentially-related news, The Brooklyn Kitchen and The Meat Hook have the most awesome roundup of cooking workshops on the interwebs. Don’t delay: sign up today!

April Classes!

Midwestern Molded Salads

April 7   $65

Knife 202: Knife Throwing

April 8   $100

Methamphetamines: Home Production

April 11   $250 and 25%

Molotov Cocktails

April 12   $75

Party like it’s 2004: Naked Lady Sushi!

April 12   $80

Pigeon a La Plancha

April 13   $75

DIY MRE’s: Using Modernist Techniques for End of Days

April 14   $75

Glass Blowing: Making your own Canning Jars

April 18   $40

Neanderthal Diet with the Meat Hook: All Raw, Half Rotten

April 19   $75

Brooklyn Business Plan: It’s ALL in the Name

April 20   $150

How to Serve Man

April 21   $40

Home Alloys: from Bronze to Steel

April 21   $50

Manifold: Make the Most of your Commute
April 25   $150

Rat Trapping, Slaughter and Butchering

April 26   $80 (rat included)

Only in New York, kids. Only in New York! (via NegevRockCity)

The Food Subway Map of New York City

The New York Sub Culinary Map

The New York Sub Culinary Map

Yes: it’s nothing less than a year’s worth of work renaming each subway stop in NYC for the foodie options nearest at hand.

We spent months doing nothing but choosing the funniest names and moving them around a pencil sketch of the map. We renamed all 468 stations and added sixteen for the Second Avenue line, which may never even be built. We renamed all the neighborhoods, parks, cemeteries and waterways – 650 names in all.

The poster doesn’t exist yet, but presumably someone out there in blogland can make it happen: the poster…and the silk scarf! I have one of those for the London Underground, and how useful is that? Eh? I ask yez!

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