Salt baked salmon
Naturally, not being as rich as Nigella, I won’t be cooking with Champagne, but I might use a toasty cava if I can find one dry enough. A prosecco might be a better choice, given the difficulty of finding a really dry cava in Canuckistan.
Really, you can keep your glitter ponies and your balloon-bending clowns. Matt Stache is the best entertainment a party could have. Also handy in case of zombie invasion, as he comes with more weaponry than G.I. Joe ever dreamed of. Here’s the latest in the Will It Saber series from our bubbly good buddy, which we feature because it’s great fun and NOT AT ALL because we got a shout-out in the video. Not at all.
We can’t find exactly that spear head on Amazon, but this Cold Steel Assegai
And I don’t know why, but when you search Amazon for Spear Head, you also get these Naughty Monkey Clogs
What the HEY-ELL?
One finds the strangest things, one does, when surfing the internet looking for virtual presents for other bloggers (don’t ask). One of those things is this: the confetti bedazzled winebottle fishnet thingummy, which really should be on Regretsy, except it appears also to be mass-produced, because I guess the masses want their booze to look more Kardashian.
When one puts “wine” together with “confetti” the above is not acceptable (unless, of course, one is gifting someone to celebrate her victory at America’s Next Top Ecdysiast). The following IS:
A handblown Italian wineglass
Speaking of bad manners and bad ideas and wine, we present the following, tangentially-related video, one of a very amusing series on YouTube called My Drunk Kitchen. If you’ve watched every Sandra Lee show ever aired and are pining for something even more Out There, why, this girl has got you covered. Personally, I suspect that more than two bottles of bubbly were involved in the production of these “cookies,” and I’d like to know since when does YouTubing pay that much, but that is neither here nor there. Nor over there either.
So, here:
When your cooking project requires a spotter for safety reasons, maybe it’s time to order in.
This pose takes years of practice. For your liver.
Say what you will about the French in wartime, they have the BEST helicopters. In related news, CnH2n+1OH Yoga is how I’m working off all the cheese and alcohol I’ve been consuming since getting my liver refreshed.
In tangentially-related news, The Brooklyn Kitchen and The Meat Hook have the most awesome roundup of cooking workshops on the interwebs. Don’t delay: sign up today!
April Classes!
Midwestern Molded Salads April 7 $65
April 8 $100
Methamphetamines: Home Production
April 11 $250 and 25%
April 12 $75
Party like it’s 2004: Naked Lady Sushi!
April 12 $80
April 13 $75
DIY MRE’s: Using Modernist Techniques for End of Days
April 14 $75
Glass Blowing: Making your own Canning Jars
April 18 $40
Neanderthal Diet with the Meat Hook: All Raw, Half Rotten
April 19 $75
Brooklyn Business Plan: It’s ALL in the Name
April 20 $150
April 21 $40
Home Alloys: from Bronze to Steel
April 21 $50
Manifold: Make the Most of your Commute
April 25 $150Rat Trapping, Slaughter and Butchering
April 26 $80 (rat included)
Only in New York, kids. Only in New York! (via NegevRockCity)
Ah, to be on hand for the leftovers. Got to kill the wounded, at least when it comes to bottles of Champagne I consider myself morally obligated to put them out of their slowly-flattening misery.
Just a little video of me out and about doing my research. This past weekend I was tucked away at the cushy Serenata Guest House in Canada’s wine country (yes, we do have one, and stop laughing) teaching social media at EatDrinkTweet, a conference for wine pros and foodies, one of whom felt it his patriotic duty to buy me dinner, and who was I to argue? I like to encourage the spirit of hospitality as a matter of principle, as do all right-thinking people. Each evening, in fact, I encouraged it to the hilt, and was rewarded with some very painful mornings in consequence.
Thank god for the Cannery Brewing No Jail Pale Ale is all I can say; concocted in response to British Columbia’s draconian new laws, it’s a high-quality, low-alcohol craft option for people who like their beer hoppish rather than hoppy and medium-bodied. Some thoughtful elf had tucked a bottle into my swag bag, and god bless them for it. 3% alcohol makes a very satisfying hair of the dog pre-lunch. Sadly, the Powers That Be decided that this perfectly pleasant pale had to change its charming name, as “No jail” was “an implied warranty against arrest” or, like, whatever, so now it’s called No Justice Pale Ale.
No Jail Pale Ale
A reminder, from the Beer Geek blog:
1. Yellowtail wine is NOT actually made with any marsupials- specifically, not one Yellowtail kangaroo goes in to the vat.
2. Baby Canadian champagne is not actually made by, nor does it contain any babies (Canadian or imported). Actually, it’s not even champagne.
3. Dr. Pepper is not a real doctor.
4. Ranch dressing comes from a dressing factory, not a ranch.
Oh, NOW you tell me!
Oh, what the hell. Make it a double.
I’m in a celebratory mood lately, so I hereby declare that it’s time to catch up with our festive old pal and email buddy, and the sworn enemy of Champagne bottles everywhere, Matt Stache. We are reliably informed that this daredevil intends to make an assault on the world record for most Champagne bottles sabered in one minute, and we wish him well and we wish, further, to be on hand because yeah, that stuff doesn’t keep worth beans.
In any case, here he is attempting his sabrage with, sequentially, a cocktail glass and a god damned scythe.
Martini vs Champagne:
The Booze Reaper
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