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Canadian Food | Manolo's Food Blog - Part 4
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Canadian Cooking with Reed Farrington

You people think you have the Sandra Lee thang all to yourselves, but the truth is, she’s simply one iteration of a worldwide plague; why, we even have one up here in Canuckistan!

Here is renowned “celebrity chef” (look, it’s Canada. In the US, celebrities need crowd control; in Canada, they need nametags) Reed Farrington (as portrayed by Gerry Eng), personifying the Canadian can-do spirit, combining three packaged convenience foods into one mouth-watering national classic dish: POUTINE!

Or, as he calls it, Poo-teen. I’ve never seen it eaten with chopsticks before, but hey, it’s a nice multicultural touch.

Cooking With Gerry – Episode #2: Poutine from Jay Cheel on Vimeo.

In fact, it doesn’t really matter what quality of components you use; the result always turns into a soggy, cholesterol-laden heart attack on a plate, rich in what hangover sufferers call “Vitamin G.” Here’s the recipe, for those of you who are not video-positive:

  • Make some fries. Or reheat some fries.
  • Make some gravy. Beef gravy ONLY, people; beef gravy is a food, chicken gravy is just a condiment.
  • Put some farmer’s cheese (cheese curds) over the fries, then put the gravy over the whole mess.

If this isn’t enough to clog your arteries, poutine (pronounced “p’TIN” with a contemptuous expression {as are all Quebecois words, actually}) is an essential ingredient in the Angry French Canadian Sandwich:

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Ready! Aim! Thanksgiving!

like we need to be told?
Up here in Canuckistan we’ve long since had our Thanksgiving (we have to get it over with before the weather changes and the only people on the roads are Ice Truckers) and it generally features a simple roast turkey, generally stuffed with bread cubes, celery, brandy-soaked raisins, old doll parts, Monopoly dice, and anything else Mom finds in the bottom of the junk drawer. It’s quite a fun tradition, really: if you get the Barbie head, or roll snake eyes, you get to make a wish on the moose antlers. After the meal and the ritual round of butter tarts, the whole family compliments the cook and then sneaks out the back way to Timmy’s, where they can at least get good coffee.

moose antlers are a badass wishbone substitute

moose antlers are a badassCanuck wishbone substitute

In Yankistan, I understand things work a little differently. Not only do you wait till nearly mid-winter to express your gratitude for the existence of pumpkin pie, but apparently you people like to celebrate the holiday by making turkey pickles, then deep-frying them.

This confused me until I watched the following video, and now it all makes sense. I, too, like to celebrate special occasions by having a few firefighters over to the Global HQ, and this looks like the best way to guarantee they’ll actually show up.

via TheAwl

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via TheAwl

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