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Sunday Food Porn: Mother’s Day Edition

Happy Mother’s Day, y’all! I, alas, am an orphan, so I’m stuck at home ordering marked-down perfume from Sephora and cracking bittersweet Norman Bates jokes; presumably, you’re hanging out with at least one parent. Are you taking Mom out for her special day, or slaving away in the kitchen gaining a new appreciation of how hard she toiled re-heating all those Swanson dinners while you were growing up (Team Salisbury Steak, represent!)?

Now THAT is fancy! A formal dinner for Mother's Day

Now THAT is fancy! A formal dinner for Mother's Day. Collage by Beth Hoeckel

and don’t forget dessert:

It's like a unicorn chaser for your belleh!

It's like a unicorn chaser for your belleh!

Try to find an activity for the whole family for the after-dinner festivities!
No:

Yes:

Pickman’s Sampler

You, loyal readers, know how I am. Servicey. So when I saw the following cri de coeur on Twitter I knew I had to help.

Sorry, no cubular ice cream, but I DO have some non-Euclidean chocolates!

Pickmans Sampler: an unspeakable horror in every box!

Pickmans Sampler: an unspeakable horror in every box!

Think about it: doesn’t this explain That One Chocolate in every assortment that seems to have been puked up straight from the mouth of Hell?

Bacon: the universal language

Warning: the following post is not suitable for vegetarians or for those who disapprove of pet torture. Contains scenes of dog teasing, anthropomorphism, and lip synching.

Happy Birthday, Brando!

marlon brando is all about the Strawberry Shortcake

marlon brando is all about the Strawberry Shortcake

Happy birthday to famous foodie Marlon Brando! After all his painstaking prep work, it’s a damn shame his part in “Whip Me! Lick Me! Eat Me! The Untold Strawberry Shortcake Story” ended up on the cutting-room floor.

Happy Sundae!

Happy Sundae from Google

Happy Sundae from Google

Please join us in the Manolosphere as well as those who toil anonymously at Teh Googlez in wishing the Ice Cream Sundae a very happy 119th birthday. Darling, you don’t look a day over 110!

As befits a treat as impressive as the sundae, like the Queen it has both an actual birthday (shrouded in mystery) and an official birthday. Wired reports on the controversy:

There’s some dispute over when and where the term was invented (though there is general agreement that at first it was “sunday” instead), but Ithaca, N.Y. has the only claim with any sort of documented evidence, in the form of the first known printed mention of the term, in an 1893 newspaper ad.

Even though all that proves is that the term was invented at some point not too long before the ad was printed, Google has chosen to respect local lore that holds that the term was invented on April 3, 1892 by Chester Platt and John Scott at a pharmacy/soda fountain owned by Platt, in Ithaca.

Sure, why not? After all, if they were going to pick a completely artificial date, wouldn’t they have picked one in steamy August instead? Denny’s is celebrating with the introduction of the artery-clogging masterpiece, the maple bacon sundae. Here’s to the End Times!

Wine Not?

This pose takes years of practice. For your liver.

This pose takes years of practice. For your liver.

Say what you will about the French in wartime, they have the BEST helicopters. In related news, CnH2n+1OH Yoga is how I’m working off all the cheese and alcohol I’ve been consuming since getting my liver refreshed.

In tangentially-related news, The Brooklyn Kitchen and The Meat Hook have the most awesome roundup of cooking workshops on the interwebs. Don’t delay: sign up today!

April Classes!

Midwestern Molded Salads

April 7   $65

Knife 202: Knife Throwing

April 8   $100

Methamphetamines: Home Production

April 11   $250 and 25%

Molotov Cocktails

April 12   $75

Party like it’s 2004: Naked Lady Sushi!

April 12   $80

Pigeon a La Plancha

April 13   $75

DIY MRE’s: Using Modernist Techniques for End of Days

April 14   $75

Glass Blowing: Making your own Canning Jars

April 18   $40

Neanderthal Diet with the Meat Hook: All Raw, Half Rotten

April 19   $75

Brooklyn Business Plan: It’s ALL in the Name

April 20   $150

How to Serve Man

April 21   $40

Home Alloys: from Bronze to Steel

April 21   $50

Manifold: Make the Most of your Commute
April 25   $150

Rat Trapping, Slaughter and Butchering

April 26   $80 (rat included)

Only in New York, kids. Only in New York! (via NegevRockCity)

Branagh Muffins?

This sounds utterly filthy! Can’t wait.

I wonder if he'll use bleached flour?

I wonder if he'll use bleached flour?

Sunday Food Porn: Coffee!

I started adding milk to my coffee just so I could watch it

Long ago I started adding milk to my coffee just so I could watch it

Pretty! Don’t face your Sunday without adequate caffeination!

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